The problem with “just break it down”

“Just break it down into smaller steps” is one of the most common pieces of advice those of us with ADHD hear when faced with a task we find challenging. It is usually well-meaning and can sometimes be helpful, but for many of us it is not the simple solution it is made out to be.

The problem is that the task is often not just a task. Imagine we need to apply for a job. Someone tells us to break it down. Update the CV. Find references. Write a cover letter. Submit the application. Now we have not got one overwhelming task. We have four.

For those of us with ADHD, breaking something down does not automatically make it easier to start. Sometimes it does the opposite. Instead of one thing sitting in the background, we now see every step that needs to happen. Every decision. Every transition. Every opportunity to get distracted or lose momentum.

We know what needs to be done. That has never really been the problem. The challenge is getting started.

Think about something as ordinary as doing the laundry. It sounds simple enough, but then we must gather the clothes, separate the colours, find the detergent, start the machine, remember to take everything out, hang it up or put it in the dryer, fold it, and then put it away. Every step is manageable on its own, but together they can feel surprisingly overwhelming.

When we find ourselves stuck, it is easy to assume there must be something wrong with us. We look around, and it seems like everyone else is managing these everyday tasks without a second thought. We wonder why something so simple feels so difficult. That is often where the shame creeps in.

The truth is that many of us do not need another list of steps. We need help getting from intention to action. We need less friction; sometimes we need someone to sit with us while we get started; sometimes we need to make the first step so small that it feels almost impossible not to do; sometimes we simply need to work with our brain instead of expecting it to work how we perceive everyone else's does.

Breaking tasks down can absolutely be helpful, but it is not a magic solution. If you have tried it and still find yourself staring at the task, it does not mean you are lazy or unmotivated. It means the challenge is probably not knowing what to do. It is knowing how to begin.

Coaching can help with understanding what is getting in the way of taking that first step and can help you find strategies that fit the way your brain works, making it easier to move from feeling stuck to taking action.