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ADHD and the Perfectionist Fantasy

The perfectionist fantasy focuses on the one BIG thing that has to happen in order for your life to be perfect. Nobody is immune to the lure of this fantasy as it could be that you are waiting on the ideal job, or partner, or house, or opportunity. Once this is achieved then everything will fall into place and you will have the life of your dreams.

Think for a moment about how debilitating this expectation is, as you have effectively told yourself that you can only start living your life once you have won the perfect BIG thing lotto.

The main questions that arise are:

  • How likely are you to win the BIG thing lotto? (FYI - The odds of winning the Powerball is 1 in 292,201,338)

  • How would you know that your life was perfect? (if you could define what was required it is likely you may realise a single BIG thing wouldn't tick all the boxes)

  • If the BIG thing happens and your life isn't perfect was it the wrong BIG thing? (then do you pin your hopes on the next BIG thing?)

  • What are you doing while you wait?

The perfectionist fantasy has the benefit of allowing you to put off any action to an indefinite time in the future when "the time is right". It is also debilitating as it is preventing you from taking actionable steps and setting realistic short term goals to move you towards the life you want.

Real life is hard work and achievements are based on a number of steps and goals that support bigger steps and goals. No perfect set of bathers or surf conditions will enable you to complete the Rotto Swim unless you have put in a lot of hours of training - one training session at a time as you beat your previous endurance records week after week.

Make short term goals and immediate commitments.

Change your behaviour now, why start tomorrow?

Take responsibility for yourself and move forward one step at a time.....

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